Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Atheists to Hold Cross Burning Ceremony on Christmas


Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and Neil De Grasse Tyson are going to be leading the charge for a cross burning ceremony on Christmas this year. They want to prove just how irrational it is for people to celebrate Christmas. As usual, it is all about rational thought and science with these folks. “Christianity is the world’s most popular religion, and a cross-burning on Christmas would teach them a lesson in rational thought,” Dawkins fumed.

After one particular debate with a Christian, Dawkins said that the “retarded shitball Christian” had said something about the light of “Jesus.” That’s when he had his break through idea: “We just need to spread the light of atheism to them! I rationally thought about it, and I came to the conclusion that the best way to do that would be by burning crosses in their yards. I mean, what could go wrong?”

The intent of this ceremony is to show just how destructive the Christian faith has been to society. They think that it is highly “irrational” for people to celebrate Christmas, and Sam Harris is tired of America being a laughingstock for its lively religious culture.

They are also encouraging American Atheists from around the country to participate in the ceremony as well. Harris says “Burn crosses at everyone’s home who is a Christian. We cannot allow their irrational thoughts, and lack of understanding of evolution affect society anymore. Atheists are the biggest minority group in America, and we need to demand respect from the people here.”

By burning crosses on people’s yards the atheists intend to send the message that believing in Jesus is stupid. Collectively, these atheists have just had it with the Christmas season. They are tired of people wishing them a “Merry Christmas” or seeing people’s yard signs that say “Jesus is the reason for the season.”

Atheists around the country are applauding the move, and are heaping mounds of praise on the Atheists for their bravery. “This Richard Dawkins guy is a genius,” commented Jesussucksmyballs420, a subscriber to r/atheism on reddit, “I think we could really make some good progress towards spreading the light of Atheism with this idea.”

If the cross-burning goes well these atheists are planning on a Bible burning in January. Richard Dawkins cackled with a devilishly red gleam in his eye “We are the Gods now muahahahaha.”

“Hail Satan, I mean rational thought!” exclaimed Harris.

Neil De Grasse Tyson added “Oh by the way, astro-physics shows no proof for Santa Claus, fuck that guy.”


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