Monday, August 3, 2015

Local High School Kid Drops Out to Become Genius

Despite his poor grades and a 12 on the ACT, local high school kid Jimmy Granderson has decided to drop out of high school to become a genius. “Albert Einstein never finished high school, and he came up with the Theory of Relatives.” Jimmy explained.

“I like to think I am far smarter than my ACT scores, or my spulling of werds, hell, I can’t even spell words rite when I says them sometimes.” Jimmy continued.

Jimmy feels that he has a bright future ahead. He feels he needs to contribute to the field of physics immediately as he thinks that the theory that we live in a computer simulation is “absolute trash", and he "doesn’t need no fancy equations to tell him what’s right.” He is absolutely certain that given enough time he could come up with equations to prove those scientists wrong. In fact, he’s even convinced that Albert Einstein’s equations were far off the mark. “E cannot equal MC squared. E equals E, M equals M, and C equals C. These equations are preposterous, and I will set off to correct them. People are so dumb sometimes, I mean am I right?”

He also wishes to bring back the gospel to the scientific realm. He feels that it’s utterly ridiculous that anyone could possibly have any measure of scientific thinking without understanding the Bible. He thinks Jesus needs to be accepted into the mainstream, and it’s pretty difficult to do that with “dag gum Obama promoting muslim, nazi, atheist, socialist propaganda at every turn.”

He also thinks that the theory of evolution cannot possibly be the way we became humans. “I mean my grandma isn’t a monkey, how could we have possibly evolved from monkeys? See I constantly question everything. This is what Einstein told us to do, but he’s probably not even half the genius that I will become.”

He feels that Einstein’s biggest flaw was a lack of faith in Jesus Christ. He doesn’t understand how such a smart man could be such an ignorant fool regarding Christianity because “it is clearly the right choice.” Through Jimmy’s genius eyes, Einstein could have been an even better scientist had he simply accepted Jesus into his heart. That’s what was truly missing from Einstein’s work.  

Jimmy thinks that his Facebook page is also a good measure of how much of a genius he is. Apparently he got 25 likes from a variety of his friends at church. He said he gets more when he posts more provocative Bible verses about “life and stuff.” With his solid foundation in the Christian religion it appears that Jimmy will be shooting for the stars.

Musings on Power/Division

The nature of power. What is it exactly? The dictionary definition is “the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events”. Have you ever met a person that attempted to influence your behavior? If you had authoritarian parents as a child you probably experienced this to some degree, I know I did at least. It’s destructive to your well-being, and it doesn’t allow you to be yourself. In fact, I was often punished for being myself, and it caused me to rebel really hard against their authority. Unfortunately, it caused me to become a little like the very thing that I hated. My parents were far-right lunatics, and I turned into a far-left lunatic for a while.

I was constantly preaching my opinion to others, getting into confrontations both verbal, and physical. I began to think that anyone with a differing opinion from me was stupid, which is a very stupid opinion to have. Sure, people believe a lot of stupid things, but oftentimes it is not really their fault. They’ve gobbled up bullshit from poor teachers and preachers for years without ever developing the ability to critically think about their own views on matters. Thus when people disagree with me anymore I just smile. I tell them it is okay to disagree. They’re probably wrong, but I could be wrong too. No one should try to tell others how to live their lives or what to think.  

It’s a disgusting thing that we do as humans. Nearly all of us are conditioned to not like people who are different from us at a very early age. If you grew up in a Christian home you were most likely preached to about the dangers of atheism, other religions, or the wicked ways of the culture. Maybe you weren’t, maybe the church you grew up in preached more about love than division, but that wasn’t the case for me. For a little while in my life I thought it was my duty to save others from their wicked ways. My church even denounced other forms of Christianity, particularly Catholicism. It’s kind of odd how even Christians can be divided against each other.

If you weren’t brought up in a Christian home, but you went to public school you were taught to hate rival schools in the realm of sports. Remember pep rallies? Everyone went and cheered for your team while talking about how your team would destroy the other team. Do you remember disliking other cities or schools simply because they weren’t your school or city? It’s really an odd thing, but perhaps this is just a part of my own bias, as I was a captain on the high school football team. If you’re an avid football fan like I am then perhaps you even feel that hate for a rival NFL team. Perhaps this is harmless, but perhaps it isn’t. There are other more subtle ways this is done as well, particularly if you pay attention to the way war is discussed in the media.

Have you ever noticed how the mainstream media discusses wars in which the US has participated in? Next time you watch anything from the mainstream about foreign policy or the War in Iraq notice how they only talk about Americans who died overseas. They never mention that around 1 million innocent Iraqi civilians were killed. Anytime any type of “tragedy” happens overseas there is a tendency to only report about the Americans who have lost their lives. It’s fucking bonkers.

Then there’s our current two party system. It’s more dysfunctional than your grandpa’s penis when he doesn’t take his Viagra (sorry for the gross analogy, and please don’t get me started about Big Pharma). It really is. If you have both liberal and conservative friends on your Facebook you’ll notice that conservatives call liberals “libtards” and liberals take jabs at conservatives for their religious beliefs, being racist, or they just call them stupid. Sometimes both sides get blinded by the ideologies that they are under. Democrats typically vote democratic out of fear of having a Republican president, while Republicans vote for the same reason, but we typically don’t even think about how broken our political system is. Both sides feel that the other side is unreachable, but this isn’t true. We just have to get past all the petty bullshit arguing that we do with another.

It might sound kind of conspiratorial, but I think all these things: Sports, Public Education, Religion, Party Politics, and Mass Media are meant to keep us divided. They have a tendency towards the same ideals. The my team is better than your team mentality. I’ve often heard both sides say things along the lines of “We can’t handle another 4 years of a Democrat/Republican presidency.” I don’t think we can handle anymore of either, but those in power continually keep us in fear of the other party. There is also a tendency for both sides to be very critical of everything a president does when he’s not on their team. It seems that we lost a lot of critical debate from the “Left” when Obama became the president.

There is a tendency to be self-congratulatory on the left for the things that Obama has accomplished. Gay Rights being one of them. Obamacare being the other one, and Obamacare sucks. It’s not even a good policy. Would you buy Camaro insurance if you couldn’t afford the Camaro? Essentially all Obamacare does is force us to pay for insurance, but you still have to pay for your hospital visit. That’s not really a good thing. It might make health insurance a little more affordable, but what’s the point if you can’t even afford your hospital stay. Yet, Democrats want you to believe that Obamacare is the greatest thing since sliced bread. In reality Obamacare has turned our gigantic turd of a healthcare system into a slightly smaller gigantic turd, and even that is debatable. Either way it still stinks. Nobody is right, when everyone is wrong.

This is how power is used, though. It’s impossible to govern people who are united. It’s impossible to govern people who realize how fundamentally broken the system is. The system is serving no one, but the wealthy. It’s only a matter of time before it really becomes unhinged. We are living in an Oligarchy. One where we do not have a voice whether we vote Democrat or Republican. They are essentially the same team. They both promise the same things, and they desperately want you to believe that they are different. Democrats will scream Gay Rights, Women’s Rights, and Minority Rights. Republicans will scream about the Military, Patriotism, and the American Dream. None of these things even matter. They’re made up lies to get you to continue being divided against one another. We are all being oppressed right now. We are all in this mess together. The elites are the ones who are ruling us, and they’ve got both political parties in their pockets right now. I like what I hear from Bernie Sanders, but I have an odd feeling that he will be assassinated if he becomes president. I guess we will have to see, but he might be corrupted by our Economic masters if he can make it to the white house.

The banking cartels are the ones with true power. Check out the documentary “Confessions of an Economic Hitman” it’s a highly disturbing documentary about the way the world is run and operated by elites, and shadow governments. The Pentagon, CIA, and Federal Reserve are the true sources of power. They have no accountability to the people. It sucks. Hopefully I don’t come off as “preachy” because I hate people who preach. This is just the way I look at the world, and I totally get it if you don’t agree with me. Peace and Love Motherfuckers.

Jake Runde