Thursday, July 16, 2015

Comforts


It seems to me that as a human species, one of our biggest problems is our addiction to comfort. I’ve been blind to this reality for so long, for I too, am addicted to comfort. It hit me like a slap to the face one night coming out of a drunken slumber. Essentially all we do is used to treat this addiction. It stifles our creativity, limits our possibilities, and limits our thinking. It sounds quite strange, and we will never be able to overcome this addiction because we need some degree of comfort to live. Yet this “comfort addiction” can lead us down paths we don’t want to be on.    

It seems a lot of us end up having to take jobs that we don’t like in order to allow us a mediocre existence. As long as we have enough money to spend on our comforts we keep our minds off the lull dullness that is our everyday waking reality. Go to work, come home, watch Netflix, get drunk, go to bed, repeat. Day after miserable day. The tyranny of the normal is how I’d describe it. I feel it a lot some days, it’s a strange emotion really. I feel like I am being stifled, choked or held back and I’m not quite sure what it is. I get off work and I seem to be under some kind of mental fog. I try to describe it sometimes, but the words that come out don’t even seem to be mine. It’s like a cloud hanging over my head, or chains on my heart. It’s as though I can feel something inside me dying to get out. I feel that part of me, dying to live, dying to break free of the mold.  

There is so much more to life than simply existing for a paycheck. We all know that our day jobs are not what we want to do. I do stand-up, and every time I ask people if people hate their jobs, I’m greeted with uproarious cheers. It seems that most people don't like them, but it’s difficult to exist in our society without a job. I fucking hate jobs. They are the worst. I loathe the time I waste inside buildings around people I don’t particularly like, doing things I don’t particularly enjoy. Having someone tell me what to do. I’m a free human being GODDAMN IT, and I’ll be damned if I spend my life behind a desk or cooking in a Buffalo Wild Wings kitchen for a bunch of fat, ignorant, morons (no offense to people who eat at BWW's, I'll admit that it is pretty good). Yet, most of these passionless jobs exist simply because people get scared to go their own way. We are conditioned to conform. We are conditioned to believe that it isn’t good to take risks.

Risks can makes us uncomfortable, but a rewarding risk is one of the greatest joys in this life. Yet sometimes we forget about this to stay in our little comfort bubble. Take the internet for example. They prey on us not being comfortable with who we are. Not comfortable with your penis size? Here take this pill. Too fat? Buy these weight loss pills. The latest one I’ve seen is the pill that makes you smarter, but if you’re stupid enough to buy a “smart pill” off the internet you’re probably fucked already. Need advice on your relationship? Here are 8 signs you are in a healthy relationship, and its antithesis 8 things you “need” to do to get a great relationship. These types of articles are preying on the fact that we don’t want to have an uncomfortable conversation with our S/O's, or our ineptness at getting into relationships. If we were more willing to have these uncomfortable conversations then these “internet relationship gurus” wouldn’t exist.

The internet is full of people telling you that they’ve figured it out, and you should read them because they are some sort of relationship/fashion/food/spiritual guru. Here’s the thing though ladies and gents, no one has "it" figured out. Whatever "it" is. That's the best thing about life though, we don't have to figure "it" out. It’s a bit uncomfortable to admit that you don’t have anything figured out, but once you realize this, you’ll realize that no one has it figured out. There is not a “way” to go in life. Everything we have in this life will be gone at some point, we all have to die (spoiler alert).
If you have a dream at some point you will have to go your own "way". No matter what that dream is, or how stupid it sounds to others you are going to be confronted by essentially two choices: the comfortable way i.e. your day job, or the uncomfortable way, the one that might not work out, but if you’re going to fail, fail in the most spectacular way that you can. It will be hilarious. Laugh at the thought of how pathetic you look in pursuing your dream. It might be a stupid dream, and your dreams will change as you do.  

I have a really stupid dream right now. I want to get an RV and cruise around the U.S. I have not seen enough shit, and I only get one chance at this beautiful, awful, mess we call life. I’m bored as shit, but I don’t think any of my friends want to come with. They want to work their jobs, stay in their relationships, and find something new to watch on Netflix, but that stuff seems awfully boring to me. Not that there is anything wrong with watching Netflix and working, but it seems utterly meaningless to me.

I haven’t exactly figured out how I’ll make money yet (or how to afford an RV), but living in an RV is cheap, so I figure I’ll just stop for a week or two to work somewhere to cover my travel expenses. I’ll also be working on playing guitar, writing poetry, and working on my stand-up routine. Seems pretty stupid right? It’s okay with me though, working a job I hate to afford a far too expensive apartment or house seems stupid to me. From what I understand it only costs around $500 a month to live in an RV. I just don’t see the point in working my life away. Will there be times I’ll struggle, where I’ll be uncomfortable? Probably, but fuck it (haha butt fuck it). I think being on the road will essentially force me to become more creative. Most of the things in my life right now are essentially distractions. I really like being alone, and alone I shall be, alone but free from misery (kind of poetic, eh?). I’ll meet friends on the road. There’s nothing I enjoy more than having a conversation with a new person, who carries with them a new perspective to be gained.  

I love perspectives, and the last time I talked to one of my married friends he looked me straight in the eyes and said “Travel. You don’t have a wife, you don’t have kids, and you’re free”. It’s awesome how free I am right now. Why should I give that up for a company who determines my value? I don’t want to do things that everyone else does. I’ve never had a job where I got home and felt good about the things I accomplished that day. A paycheck is great, but I think finding a way to not to work hard is probably going to be a way more rewarding experience than doing what everyone else does. So what was the point of this shtick? Go do something that makes you uncomfortable today or don’t. Keep living your comfortable life, but it seems like a prison to me. A prison that I don’t want to be a part of.

I’ll leave you with a stupid poem.

Boring life, boring job

Another blog from an internet slob

That’s me

Hehe

Why does it all seem so boring?

Talk of jobs has got me snoring,

I don’t want one and people call me lazy,

But really this whole damn world is crazy.

Fuck it all.
By the one they call Jake Runde.

2 comments:

  1. As a person who has been in a similar situation I understand your sentiments. I have already pursued and failed at a few of my dumb dreams, and the failures were indeed hilarious. Isn't comedy just tragedy plus time? Even so they were all fulfilling in their own way. Thanks for some inspiration to take my next idiotic leap into the mystery, and good luck out on the road.

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    1. Thanks! Is the comment section easy to find? I feel like I need to fix it.

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