Local High School Kid Drops Out to Become Genius

 

Despite his poor grades and a 12 on the ACT, local high school kid Jimmy Granderson has decided to drop out of high school to become a genius. “Albert Einstein never finished high school, and he came up with the Theory of Relatives.” Jimmy explained.

“I like to think I am far smarter than my ACT scores, or my spulling of werds, hell, I can’t even spell words rite when I says them sometimes.” Jimmy continued.

Jimmy feels that he has a bright future ahead. He feels he needs to contribute to the field of physics immediately as he thinks that the theory that we live in a computer simulation is “absolute trash", and he "doesn’t need no fancy equations to tell him what’s right.” He is absolutely certain that given enough time he could come up with equations to prove those scientists wrong. In fact, he’s even convinced that Albert Einstein’s equations were far off the mark. “E cannot equal MC squared. E equals E, M equals M, and C equals C. These equations are preposterous, and I will set off to correct them. People are so dumb sometimes, I mean am I right?”

He also wishes to bring back the gospel to the scientific realm. He feels that it’s utterly ridiculous that anyone could possibly have any measure of scientific thinking without understanding the Bible. He thinks Jesus needs to be accepted into the mainstream, and it’s pretty difficult to do that with “dag gum Obama promoting muslim, nazi, atheist, socialist propaganda at every turn.”

He also thinks that the theory of evolution cannot possibly be the way we became humans. “I mean my grandma isn’t a monkey, how could we have possibly evolved from monkeys? See I constantly question everything. This is what Einstein told us to do, but he’s probably not even half the genius that I will become.”

He feels that Einstein’s biggest flaw was a lack of faith in Jesus Christ. He doesn’t understand how such a smart man could be such an ignorant fool regarding Christianity because “it is clearly the right choice.” Through Jimmy’s genius eyes, Einstein could have been an even better scientist had he simply accepted Jesus into his heart. That’s what was truly missing from Einstein’s work.  

Jimmy thinks that his Facebook page is also a good measure of how much of a genius he is. Apparently he got 25 likes from a variety of his friends at church. He said he gets more when he posts more provocative Bible verses about “life and stuff.” With his solid foundation in the Christian religion it appears that Jimmy will be shooting for the stars.

Musings on Power/Division

The nature of power. What is it exactly? The dictionary definition is “the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events”. Have you ever met a person that attempted to influence your behavior? If you had authoritarian parents as a child you probably experienced this to some degree, I know I did at least. It’s destructive to your well-being, and it doesn’t allow you to be yourself. In fact, I was often punished for being myself, and it caused me to rebel really hard against their authority. Unfortunately, it caused me to become a little like the very thing that I hated. My parents were far-right lunatics, and I turned into a far-left lunatic for a while.

I was constantly preaching my opinion to others, getting into confrontations both verbal, and physical. I began to think that anyone with a differing opinion from me was stupid, which is a very stupid opinion to have. Sure, people believe a lot of stupid things, but oftentimes it is not really their fault. They’ve gobbled up bullshit from poor teachers and preachers for years without ever developing the ability to critically think about their own views on matters. Thus when people disagree with me anymore I just smile. I tell them it is okay to disagree. They’re probably wrong, but I could be wrong too. No one should try to tell others how to live their lives or what to think.  

It’s a disgusting thing that we do as humans. Nearly all of us are conditioned to not like people who are different from us at a very early age. If you grew up in a Christian home you were most likely preached to about the dangers of atheism, other religions, or the wicked ways of the culture. Maybe you weren’t, maybe the church you grew up in preached more about love than division, but that wasn’t the case for me. For a little while in my life I thought it was my duty to save others from their wicked ways. My church even denounced other forms of Christianity, particularly Catholicism. It’s kind of odd how even Christians can be divided against each other.

If you weren’t brought up in a Christian home, but you went to public school you were taught to hate rival schools in the realm of sports. Remember pep rallies? Everyone went and cheered for your team while talking about how your team would destroy the other team. Do you remember disliking other cities or schools simply because they weren’t your school or city? It’s really an odd thing, but perhaps this is just a part of my own bias, as I was a captain on the high school football team. If you’re an avid football fan like I am then perhaps you even feel that hate for a rival NFL team. Perhaps this is harmless, but perhaps it isn’t. There are other more subtle ways this is done as well, particularly if you pay attention to the way war is discussed in the media.

Have you ever noticed how the mainstream media discusses wars in which the US has participated in? Next time you watch anything from the mainstream about foreign policy or the War in Iraq notice how they only talk about Americans who died overseas. They never mention that around 1 million innocent Iraqi civilians were killed. Anytime any type of “tragedy” happens overseas there is a tendency to only report about the Americans who have lost their lives. It’s fucking bonkers.

Then there’s our current two party system. It’s more dysfunctional than your grandpa’s penis when he doesn’t take his Viagra (sorry for the gross analogy, and please don’t get me started about Big Pharma). It really is. If you have both liberal and conservative friends on your Facebook you’ll notice that conservatives call liberals “libtards” and liberals take jabs at conservatives for their religious beliefs, being racist, or they just call them stupid. Sometimes both sides get blinded by the ideologies that they are under. Democrats typically vote democratic out of fear of having a Republican president, while Republicans vote for the same reason, but we typically don’t even think about how broken our political system is. Both sides feel that the other side is unreachable, but this isn’t true. We just have to get past all the petty bullshit arguing that we do with another.

It might sound kind of conspiratorial, but I think all these things: Sports, Public Education, Religion, Party Politics, and Mass Media are meant to keep us divided. They have a tendency towards the same ideals. The my team is better than your team mentality. I’ve often heard both sides say things along the lines of “We can’t handle another 4 years of a Democrat/Republican presidency.” I don’t think we can handle anymore of either, but those in power continually keep us in fear of the other party. There is also a tendency for both sides to be very critical of everything a president does when he’s not on their team. It seems that we lost a lot of critical debate from the “Left” when Obama became the president.

There is a tendency to be self-congratulatory on the left for the things that Obama has accomplished. Gay Rights being one of them. Obamacare being the other one, and Obamacare sucks. It’s not even a good policy. Would you buy Camaro insurance if you couldn’t afford the Camaro? Essentially all Obamacare does is force us to pay for insurance, but you still have to pay for your hospital visit. That’s not really a good thing. It might make health insurance a little more affordable, but what’s the point if you can’t even afford your hospital stay. Yet, Democrats want you to believe that Obamacare is the greatest thing since sliced bread. In reality Obamacare has turned our gigantic turd of a healthcare system into a slightly smaller gigantic turd, and even that is debatable. Either way it still stinks. Nobody is right, when everyone is wrong.

This is how power is used, though. It’s impossible to govern people who are united. It’s impossible to govern people who realize how fundamentally broken the system is. The system is serving no one, but the wealthy. It’s only a matter of time before it really becomes unhinged. We are living in an Oligarchy. One where we do not have a voice whether we vote Democrat or Republican. They are essentially the same team. They both promise the same things, and they desperately want you to believe that they are different. Democrats will scream Gay Rights, Women’s Rights, and Minority Rights. Republicans will scream about the Military, Patriotism, and the American Dream. None of these things even matter. They’re made up lies to get you to continue being divided against one another. We are all being oppressed right now. We are all in this mess together. The elites are the ones who are ruling us, and they’ve got both political parties in their pockets right now. I like what I hear from Bernie Sanders, but I have an odd feeling that he will be assassinated if he becomes president. I guess we will have to see, but he might be corrupted by our Economic masters if he can make it to the white house.

The banking cartels are the ones with true power. Check out the documentary “Confessions of an Economic Hitman” it’s a highly disturbing documentary about the way the world is run and operated by elites, and shadow governments. The Pentagon, CIA, and Federal Reserve are the true sources of power. They have no accountability to the people. It sucks. Hopefully I don’t come off as “preachy” because I hate people who preach. This is just the way I look at the world, and I totally get it if you don’t agree with me. Peace and Love Motherfuckers.

 

Jake Runde

Comforts

It seems to me that as a human species, one of our biggest problems is our addiction to comfort. I’ve been blind to this reality for so long, for I too, am addicted to comfort. It hit me like a slap to the face one night coming out of a drunken slumber. Essentially all we do is used to treat this addiction. It stifles our creativity, limits our possibilities, and limits our thinking. It sounds quite strange, and we will never be able to overcome this addiction because we need some degree of comfort to live. Yet this “comfort addiction” can lead us down paths we don’t want to be on.    

It seems a lot of us end up having to take jobs that we don’t like in order to allow us a mediocre existence. As long as we have enough money to spend on our comforts we keep our minds off the lull dullness that is our everyday waking reality. Go to work, come home, watch Netflix, get drunk, go to bed, repeat. Day after miserable day. The tyranny of the normal is how I’d describe it. I feel it a lot some days, it’s a strange emotion really. I feel like I am being stifled, choked or held back and I’m not quite sure what it is. I get off work and I seem to be under some kind of mental fog. I try to describe it sometimes, but the words that come out don’t even seem to be mine. It’s like a cloud hanging over my head, or chains on my heart. It’s as though I can feel something inside me dying to get out. I feel that part of me, dying to live, dying to break free of the mold.  

There is so much more to life than simply existing for a paycheck. We all know that our day jobs are not what we want to do. I do stand-up, and every time I ask people if people hate their jobs, I’m greeted with uproarious cheers. It seems that most people don't like them, but it’s difficult to exist in our society without a job. I fucking hate jobs. They are the worst. I loathe the time I waste inside buildings around people I don’t particularly like, doing things I don’t particularly enjoy. Having someone tell me what to do. I’m a free human being GODDAMN IT, and I’ll be damned if I spend my life behind a desk or cooking in a Buffalo Wild Wings kitchen for a bunch of fat, ignorant, morons (no offense to people who eat at BWW's, I'll admit that it is pretty good). Yet, most of these passionless jobs exist simply because people get scared to go their own way. We are conditioned to conform. We are conditioned to believe that it isn’t good to take risks.

Risks can makes us uncomfortable, but a rewarding risk is one of the greatest joys in this life. Yet sometimes we forget about this to stay in our little comfort bubble. Take the internet for example. They prey on us not being comfortable with who we are. Not comfortable with your penis size? Here take this pill. Too fat? Buy these weight loss pills. The latest one I’ve seen is the pill that makes you smarter, but if you’re stupid enough to buy a “smart pill” off the internet you’re probably fucked already. Need advice on your relationship? Here are 8 signs you are in a healthy relationship, and its antithesis 8 things you “need” to do to get a great relationship. These types of articles are preying on the fact that we don’t want to have an uncomfortable conversation with our S/O's, or our ineptness at getting into relationships. If we were more willing to have these uncomfortable conversations then these “internet relationship gurus” wouldn’t exist.

The internet is full of people telling you that they’ve figured it out, and you should read them because they are some sort of relationship/fashion/food/spiritual guru. Here’s the thing though ladies and gents, no one has "it" figured out. Whatever "it" is. That's the best thing about life though, we don't have to figure "it" out. It’s a bit uncomfortable to admit that you don’t have anything figured out, but once you realize this, you’ll realize that no one has it figured out. There is not a “way” to go in life. Everything we have in this life will be gone at some point, we all have to die (spoiler alert).

If you have a dream at some point you will have to go your own "way". No matter what that dream is, or how stupid it sounds to others you are going to be confronted by essentially two choices: the comfortable way i.e. your day job, or the uncomfortable way, the one that might not work out, but if you’re going to fail, fail in the most spectacular way that you can. It will be hilarious. Laugh at the thought of how pathetic you look in pursuing your dream. It might be a stupid dream, and your dreams will change as you do.  

I have a really stupid dream right now. I want to get an RV and cruise around the U.S. I have not seen enough shit, and I only get one chance at this beautiful, awful, mess we call life. I’m bored as shit, but I don’t think any of my friends want to come with. They want to work their jobs, stay in their relationships, and find something new to watch on Netflix, but that stuff seems awfully boring to me. Not that there is anything wrong with watching Netflix and working, but it seems utterly meaningless to me.

I haven’t exactly figured out how I’ll make money yet (or how to afford an RV), but living in an RV is cheap, so I figure I’ll just stop for a week or two to work somewhere to cover my travel expenses. I’ll also be working on playing guitar, writing poetry, and working on my stand-up routine. Seems pretty stupid right? It’s okay with me though, working a job I hate to afford a far too expensive apartment or house seems stupid to me. From what I understand it only costs around $500 a month to live in an RV. I just don’t see the point in working my life away. Will there be times I’ll struggle, where I’ll be uncomfortable? Probably, but fuck it (haha butt fuck it). I think being on the road will essentially force me to become more creative. Most of the things in my life right now are essentially distractions. I really like being alone, and alone I shall be, alone but free from misery (kind of poetic, eh?). I’ll meet friends on the road. There’s nothing I enjoy more than having a conversation with a new person, who carries with them a new perspective to be gained.  

I love perspectives, and the last time I talked to one of my married friends he looked me straight in the eyes and said “Travel. You don’t have a wife, you don’t have kids, and you’re free”. It’s awesome how free I am right now. Why should I give that up for a company who determines my value? I don’t want to do things that everyone else does. I’ve never had a job where I got home and felt good about the things I accomplished that day. A paycheck is great, but I think finding a way to not to work hard is probably going to be a way more rewarding experience than doing what everyone else does. So what was the point of this shtick? Go do something that makes you uncomfortable today or don’t. Keep living your comfortable life, but it seems like a prison to me. A prison that I don’t want to be a part of.

I’ll leave you with a stupid poem.

Boring life, boring job

Another blog from an internet slob

That’s me

Hehe

Why does it all seem so boring?

Talk of jobs has got me snoring,

I don’t want one and people call me lazy,

But really this whole damn world is crazy.

Fuck it all.

By the one they call Jake Runde.